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Friday, August 15, 2014

The Road to El Dorado


THE ROAD TO EL DORADO
IS PAVED WITH DIRTY DISHES...

AND OTHER INCOHERENT BLATHERINGS OF AN HERETICAL CHRISTIAN MAGICIAN.


  1.   BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. - Not a blankness, but also not the evening news.  The glory of your next breath.  Breathe and be thankful, this is prayer.
  2.  NOBODY LIKES RAW BACON OR A COLD WIENER -  Let me be...let me sin.  Bring on the fires of hell and purify my soul with the lessons of being depraved.  Scrape off the burnt parts and I will be found delicious by God.  I refuse to shut myself off from the flames of purification and show up as a cold wiener at the gates of heaven.
  3. REFUSE TO BE BITCH SLAPPED - I'll turn to you my left cheek if you back hand me on the right.  Strike me as an equal and offer no slight.
  4. RETURN YOUR SUIT TO THE STORE - Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, all but the finest metals are subject to rust.  When the party is over, return your suit to the store and care not about it one minute more.  
  5. JEALOUSY WITH A HALO - Whether or not you live in a glass house, throwing stones indoors is not advised.
  6. FIRST AND LAST PAGES - The greatest story ever told has several chapters between the baby and the bleeder.  Skip them and fail the exam.
  7. DAYS OF THE WEEK - I am myself, I understand, I am passionate, I am thoughtful, I am industrious, I am caring, I am my own end and tomorrow I will rise again.
  8. ALIEN GOD - Old man of the sky, of oppression, of discrimination, of sexism and hate.  Get thee behind me Satan, you are an idol of no faith.
  9. LUCIFER - Light bearer and morning star, you are a reminder to keep silent and not raise alarm.
  10. FORTUNE - Fortune favors the bold, which goes to show there is a difference between being bold and foolish.

    LVX-LiS